Achieving Stag Weekend Humiliation
If you are a stag about to go on your stag weekend, then you have probably told your best man that under no circumstances is he to get you naked and chain you to a lamp post. You have probably also told him and your stag party that they are not to shave your eye brows off while you are asleep, that they are not to draw on you in permanent marker pen or make you wear a dress on your stag night.
If you are the best man then you know that your job is to humiliate your best mate and you know that anything goes on the stag weekend, although you have probably been made to sign an oath to by the bride-to-be to ensure that he comes back in one piece.
Thankfully for the bride and the groom, these days stag weekends and hen nights tend to happen the month before the actual nuptials, which means that there is always enough time for hair to grow back.
If you are organising a stag weekend, then you need to make sure that your stag gets truly humiliated and these are my tips for stag weekend humiliation.
Tip number one for stag weekend humiliation has got to be making him wear something that he would never wear. For this ‘humiliation task’ you need to consider the stag’s size and shape. If he is more of a Chris Moyles type, then go small and in particular some sort of cropped top always goes well. However, if he is more sensitive about his weight, then go for a T-Shirt that says it all; ‘Fat people get married too’ might be nice (or not).
If your stag could give most female A-Listers diet tips on being a size 0, then why not capitalise on this, and dress him up as Mr. Muscle. He might not thank you for it, but he will look pretty fetching.
If all else fails, shove a dress on them. Instant humiliation.
Tip number two is to do with where you take them once they are dressed like a ‘plonker’. Stag weekends are all about doing something silly and going to places that you wouldn’t usually, which means that you can be as much of a ‘plonker’ as you want. A recent stag weekend saw the stag dressed up as Scooby Doo (tip one) and then they went shooting. The pictures speak for themselves. Take your stag somewhere where people are going to see him and he will be embarrassed.
Tip three for stag weekend humiliation is to choose this weekend to reveal some dark secret that the stag would rather remain in Pandora’s box forever. I do not mean tell everyone something that is going to spoil the mood or his plans to marry a woman, but perhaps the tale of the girlfriend, her mother and the sister. You know the one.
Tip four for stag weekend humiliation should involved getting some sort of photographic or video evidence of him behaving inappropriately or embarrassingly, that you can then use to bribe him with for tip five.
Tip five is all about making him do something that he does not want to do and his reward, should he complete said humiliation task, is the photo. The task could be anything from snogging someone he would never usually snog or to phone the bride’s mother and impart some private information.
Throw in a bit of waxing, locking him out of his room in nothing but his boxers and you job is done. Enjoy your stag weekend and remember that he will probably be yours when the time comes and a little thing called Karma.
About the Author
I like cheese and wine and not in any particlar order
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